I just finished viewing Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug for the second time, and I found more things that you should be aware of.
- Bilbo puts on the ring to hide from spiders in Mirkwood Forest. Suddenly, he can understand what they are saying (and how again does that work?)! Eventually, he stabs one in the face. "Where is it? Where is it?" the spider says. Bilbo TAKES OFF THE RING and says, "Right here," before stabbing the spider in the face once more. The basis of the name of Bilbo's blade "Sting," which appears in every following movie (chronologically), was what the spider says as it dies: "It stings! Stiiinggs!" But Bilbo had already taken off the ring. He shouldn't have been able to understand the spider at all.
- Thorin's lucky foot stops the key from falling off the edge and begins to unlock the door without a word to Bilbo because Thorin is a cocky ingrate. But which way does he turn the key? Doors unlock by turning the key to the left, but Thorin turns the key to the right. "YOU HAD ONE JOB, CHOREOGRAPHER! ONE. JOB."
- Just a technical thing here, but watch Bilbo as he falls into the water from the barrel ramp as he escapes the elves. Un-animated, stiff mannequin Bilbo is un-animated and stiff.
- I will once again question whether anyone can explain to me why Radagast must come to meet Gandalf in the tombs. If Gandalf just wanted to find out if the Ringwraiths' tombs were empty, why make Radagast take the risky climb just to do the same?
- Moreover, if all Gandalf wanted to do was tell Radagast, "Evil is rising. Pass on my message to Galadriel," then why didn't he just send that message, instead of a message saying, "Go risk your life to meet me in the tombs so we can pay a 30 second visit to some empty caves"?
- I will once again question whether anyone can explain to me why the dwarves have to go through the hidden door instead of any other way. The mountain was their home, and at least two of them (Balin the white bearded dwarf and Thorin: "I know these walls. I know this stone. You remember it, Balin?") had been there before. Their ancestors had built the front entrance that Smaug breaks through at the end of the movie on his way to Laketown. The forges need oxygen to continue to burn, so where is that air coming from? Even the dead people who suffocated in the room thought there was another way out. Surely there were more emergency exits like that. Why then did they have to go through the secret door rather than any other way?
- Speaking of suffocating, Thorin says that those dead dwarves died "clawing for breath." Smaug has been sleeping the whole time, so there hasn't been a lot of air movement in the tunnels. Soo… how again can nine dwarves and a hobbit stand in the room breathing normally?
- Flash fires are still stupid.
- Legolas is still a god.
- Bard is leading the dwarves to his house for the first time. Convenient son is convenient to come and meet Bard some distance from their house, just to warn him that there were guards watching the house. Bard already knew this, however, because Alfrid told him. So why did he need his son to tell him that they were being watched before deciding to send the dwarves up through the toilet.
- The toilet leads directly into the water. If all houses have this kind of plumbing, then no one would want to eat the fish being pulled from that lake.
- This movie has time issues. Guard talking to Legolas: "What about Tauriel? She left with her bow and blade, and she hasn't returned yet." Well of course not! She's been gone two minutes!
Gandalf talking to Radagast before deciding to go to Dol Goldur: "I must return to my friends… would you have me abandon my friends to stop this greater evil [paraphrase]?" Well, uh, you did just abandon them as they were entering what was really the most dangerous place they visited (Mirkwood) to pay a two minute visit to Radagast for no apparent reason.
The spies watching Bard's house got there super fast, because they had to get the message from Wormtongue… I mean Alfrid, and be there long enough for the son to recognize it and come out and warn his father. And all of this before Bard himself could dump out barrels of fish and then walk home.
- I'm convinced that dragons and humans work opposite from each other. Humans wake up and they're sluggish and slow and senseless, but they begin to brighten up as they wake up. Smaug can identify Bilbo's exact location based on smell and hearing alone ("I can hear your breathing"), yet later he asks Bilbo to repeat himself when Bilbo audibly whispers, "So the legend is true. The black arrow did find its mark." And of course, he flies right over nine dwarves who had spent time in fish barrels and toilets without ever noticing them.
- Most OCD dragon in the history of dragons, being distracted by anyone who yells at him, even though you'd think he'd prioritize Thorin the king and Bilbo the barrel rider, who were conveniently right next to each other.
- So the dwarves have split up, and white-bearded Balin takes a turn that Thorin doesn't. Bilbo calls to Thorin, "This way!" Thorin looks hesitant, as if he wants to keep going straight (which we later find out is a giant pit of nothing). In the distance, he sees Smaug turn the corner. He's not far from Bilbo, yet he says to the hobbit, "Go with Balin!" and begins to run to the eternal pit. He grabs a conveniently hanging wire, dodges Smaug a million times, does a balancing act on Smaug's flexible iron lips while Smaug forgets he has fire breath, and then gets retrieved by the other dwarves working the machinery. --wait, why are the dwarves there? I thought they split up. And isn't it convenient that the rope Thorin is holding is connected to all that mechanical-ness? And that Smaug's breath, when he finally remembers to use it, doesn't instantly burn the rope and drop Thorin into his mouth?
And WHY does all this happen? Well, for the trailer of course! :D
- You expect me to believe that dragon fire doesn't wrap around pillars with dwarves behind, yet it'll wrap around the ground to the point that it'll ignite forges sunken into the ground?
- *Earthquake happens* Son: "It's coming from the mountain." Well how the heck do you know that! Okay, let's just assume you have a profound skill in hearing things. So why can't you hear the orcs trampling your roof, hmm?
- Wormtongue = Alfrid. Annoying aide to the king. Useless and deserves to be beaten with white magician staffs.
- Denethor = Master of Laketown. Incapable king. Stupid and annoying.
- Bilbo at the end of the movie. "What have we done?" But if he's completely honest, he should have said, "What have I done?" because he was the one who woke Smaug up.
On the other hand, the credits song is pretty cool. I noticed more of the background fight choreography this time, and it's pretty good. A lot better than some other movies. I also noticed some of the forced perspective they used to make short people shorter and tall people taller by putting them closer or farther from the camera – that was cool too. And of course, the animation is beautiful (except liquids and stiff Bilbo, of course).
Lastly, place your bets! Will Bard hit Smaug on his first try with his last arrow in the last movie? Yes or nooo?
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Twenty: My Biggest Takeaways from The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
SPOILERS! (obviously) DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET AND WANT TO!
- If you hear me call this movie "Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug," don't hate me for it. Pro tip: Avoid article adjectives in your movie titles, especially in the middle of them!
- Legolas is a god. O.O
- Sauron is a fractal, a pattern that renews itself if you keep zooming in on it. Like this:
- Also, visual writers, please make up your mind. Is Sauron an eye or a body? Or is he… (wait for it) a SMOG cloud? Eh? Get it? Yeah?
- And the dwarves get captured again (spiders)! And again (elves)! And again (humans)! And again (Smaug)! Also… WHY SEVEN DWARVES (at times)?! I nearly burst out in laughter when Gandalf gave orders about the "seven dwarves." Like, "Be sure to tell them that Snow White sends her best wishes. Now yo ho yo ho, it's off to work you go!"
- There wasn't enough gold in the statue to submerge Smaug. Also, gold hardens quickly in dark underground caverns and cold nights on a lake. They do not shake off a dragon like sparkles.
- Speaking of that, remember how the stones hiding the gold statue were held back by chains? Chains holding up rocks for many years. Okay, I believe that. But you expect me to believe that suddenly, two dwarves can pull on these chains and not only loosen them but BREAK THEM FROM THEIR HINGES? Dwarves = Mr. Incredible
- Gandalf's staff makes camera shutter noises. Go back and listen. It's true.
- Gandalf had NO REASON to go to the tomb of "one of the nine" [Ringwraiths], a "very dangerous place" he even admits himself. Why not meet his buddy somewhere else? Somewhere closer to Sauron's base perhaps?
- Thorin riding down a river of molten rock in a metal wheelbarrow. Sure, the wheelbarrow might be fireproof, but Thorin sure as heck ain't.
- Speaking of Thorin, he has a lucky foot – literally, stepping on the key just before it goes over the edge.
- I had a bit of an issue with all the CG liquid in this movie. As if the animators said, "Um… we don't know how to animate water and molten rock, so we'll just leave it default 3DSMax liquid." On the other hand, applause to them for animating thousands of shiny gold coins. I imagine that took up most of their time.
- That one dwarf who conveniently knocks over a million orcs in his indestructible barrel? Gives new meaning to, "Do a barrel roll!" doesn't it?
- Legolas is a god. o.o
- The odds. THE ODDS. That the dwarf troupe, including the true king Thorin would meet Bard, whose father was the one who failed to kill Smaug the first time. And that Bard still has ONE MORE ARROW to shoot in the third movie. THE ODDS!! Those guys should buy a lottery ticket.
- Laketown king advisor guy who reminds you of Wormtongue with a hat picks up one fish and reveals a good part of a dwarf's face. Then guards dump at least two or three dozen fish into the river before being stopped – no dwarves revealed. Convenient.
- Either the movie makers continually skipped the long trek from the cave entrance to Smaug's sea of coins, or else it's not far away from the mountain entrance. Seriously, you go through the door, down a small, sloping hallway (where the old dwarf and Bilbo talk), and you're there! …so, why need a door? Just dig into the side of the mountain.
- Speaking of the old dwarf and Bilbo… "And Bilbo. If you see a dragon… don't awaken it." YOU HAD ONE JOB, BILBO! ONE. JOB.
- Speaking of the side of the mountain, if indeed the dwarves inside were seeking an exit when they died (the ones who Thorin states he won't die the same way as), then why do you need a secret door? If the dwarves, once inside their home, can remember every emergency exit, why not just go to those emergency exits to enter?
- Also, there have to be exits – there HAVE to be. Forges will not burn without oxygen. If the caves are sealed, the forges will either go out or suffocate everyone. There must be air passages, and air passages = openings, BESIDES the secret door with the silly keyhole.
- Was it intentional for Smaug's first words to be (in very Sauron-esque tone, I might add), "IIIII SMELLLL YOUUUU." Kinda like, "I SEE YOU," isn't it?
- In Smaug's word, his body is iron – unbreakably strong. …yet his lips are moving. You cannot explain zat!
- Smaug can smell and hear the breathing of a single invisible Hobbit and pinpoint his exact location. Then he walks over a bunch of dwarves and the same hobbit – who have all hidden in barrels of fish and TOILETS – and doesn't even notice them, even when they're whispering.
- Hiding behind pillars does not hide you from fire. Fire curls around things.
- Thorin jumps from flaming fire and grabs rope to keep from tumbling into circular pit of doom. Firstly, convenient rope is convenient. Secondly, long rope is long. Thirdly, ancient old rope is… not acting like an ancient old rope. Then Smaug appears under him and balances Thorin on his mouth. *applause for the circus act* Oh wait, doesn't Smaug have fire breath? Eh, better wait to use it until Thorin can be rescued.
- Smaug can clearly fly. Even though Thorin calls him old (which may be true), he has no trouble flying and shaking off literal tons of hardened gold (or not hardened, apparently) from his body. Yet he finds the need to climb everywhere while underground, even in big open spaces.
- The flash fires did nothing. Admit it. Waste of time.
- All reports on the Internet tell me that the black smog cloud/Sauron = the necromancer. But the movie didn't tell me that. Movie, I feel like you don't communicate with me sometimes – we might have to break up.
- The main orc guy with one eye and scars got from fighting Gandalf in the scary tower trap place to Laketown HOW FAST? And yet it took the Hobbits HOW LONG? Only logical conclusion: main orc guy has super speed powers. Orc guy = Dash
- Still the general Lord of the Rings flaw in consistency of putting on the ring. I shouldn't be saying all the time, "Why not put the ring on now?" or "Why would you put the ring on now?" In either case, Bilbo = Violet.
- I can't actually decide whether Laketown deserves to burn at Smaug's hands because of Bilbo's lack of sneaky skills or Thorin's butt-headedness.
- First scene at Laketown: "Welcome to Venice!-- oh wait."
- Legolas and Tauriel arrive at Laketown to save the day. But wait! How did they get into the town in the first place? Okay, so they snuck in – that makes them illegal immigrants of sorts. So how did they find the exact house of Bard so fast? It wasn't like they could ask anyone. And when did they show up? Kili (who would have been better named KilED if you ask me) hasn't died yet, has he? Nope, Tauriel has enough time to save him – good. Have the orcs attacked? Just barely, enough to make it seems like the elves aren't attacking first, and not long enough for them to do any damage to any person.
- Oh, another elf thing. Legolas and Tauriel both seem convinced of the value of light. So why doesn't 600 year old Legolas's-Daddy understand that value, choosing rather to live locked up as a hermit? Shouldn't he be wiser than Legolas or Tauriel? Gosh, Middle Earth kings are stupid – Theoden, Thorin's grandfather, king of Laketown, king of elves, even Thorin himself a lot of the time.
- I must admit. Rick Riordan did a better unlikely love story than Peter Jackson. Leo and Calypso > Tauriel and…whoever it is she's going to decide to like.
- I didn't actually find much to critique about the Beast or the Spider scenes. I am happy that they actually filmed outdoors instead of the fake indoor nature scenes, which are obvious and bad.
- Legolas is a [expletive] god. -.-
- Oh, before I go. You want proof that Legolas is a god? Okay, let's omit the 100% accuracy rate and the thing about standing on two dwarves's heads on a raging river and shooting orcs with that 100% accuracy. Let's think about Laketown. Bard gets hit in the face with a wood log wielded by a fat guy who reminds me of Mackelmore. Of course, he doesn't have any bruises or breaks, but at least he gets knocked out. Now Legolas, fighting the main orc guys, gets thrown against a wood bar, which should have broken his lower back. Yet no injury or sign of injury. Then he gets kicked in the stomach by an orc foot (which probably has some form of traction in it, like cleats, but I'm only guessing). Is Legolas injured? No, he has enough strength to not only push the foot off him, but knock over the orc as well. All hail the gods of Middle Earth. Sauron the Smog, not to be confused with Smaug the dragon, and Legolas Lovey-eyes-for-Tauriel.
There you go! Besides that, I thought the movie was great, I'd recommend it to a friend or family member, and I'm looking forward to the third one.
- If you hear me call this movie "Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug," don't hate me for it. Pro tip: Avoid article adjectives in your movie titles, especially in the middle of them!
- Legolas is a god. O.O
- Sauron is a fractal, a pattern that renews itself if you keep zooming in on it. Like this:
- Also, visual writers, please make up your mind. Is Sauron an eye or a body? Or is he… (wait for it) a SMOG cloud? Eh? Get it? Yeah?
- And the dwarves get captured again (spiders)! And again (elves)! And again (humans)! And again (Smaug)! Also… WHY SEVEN DWARVES (at times)?! I nearly burst out in laughter when Gandalf gave orders about the "seven dwarves." Like, "Be sure to tell them that Snow White sends her best wishes. Now yo ho yo ho, it's off to work you go!"
- There wasn't enough gold in the statue to submerge Smaug. Also, gold hardens quickly in dark underground caverns and cold nights on a lake. They do not shake off a dragon like sparkles.
- Speaking of that, remember how the stones hiding the gold statue were held back by chains? Chains holding up rocks for many years. Okay, I believe that. But you expect me to believe that suddenly, two dwarves can pull on these chains and not only loosen them but BREAK THEM FROM THEIR HINGES? Dwarves = Mr. Incredible
- Gandalf's staff makes camera shutter noises. Go back and listen. It's true.
- Gandalf had NO REASON to go to the tomb of "one of the nine" [Ringwraiths], a "very dangerous place" he even admits himself. Why not meet his buddy somewhere else? Somewhere closer to Sauron's base perhaps?
- Thorin riding down a river of molten rock in a metal wheelbarrow. Sure, the wheelbarrow might be fireproof, but Thorin sure as heck ain't.
- Speaking of Thorin, he has a lucky foot – literally, stepping on the key just before it goes over the edge.
- I had a bit of an issue with all the CG liquid in this movie. As if the animators said, "Um… we don't know how to animate water and molten rock, so we'll just leave it default 3DSMax liquid." On the other hand, applause to them for animating thousands of shiny gold coins. I imagine that took up most of their time.
- That one dwarf who conveniently knocks over a million orcs in his indestructible barrel? Gives new meaning to, "Do a barrel roll!" doesn't it?
- Legolas is a god. o.o
- The odds. THE ODDS. That the dwarf troupe, including the true king Thorin would meet Bard, whose father was the one who failed to kill Smaug the first time. And that Bard still has ONE MORE ARROW to shoot in the third movie. THE ODDS!! Those guys should buy a lottery ticket.
- Laketown king advisor guy who reminds you of Wormtongue with a hat picks up one fish and reveals a good part of a dwarf's face. Then guards dump at least two or three dozen fish into the river before being stopped – no dwarves revealed. Convenient.
- Either the movie makers continually skipped the long trek from the cave entrance to Smaug's sea of coins, or else it's not far away from the mountain entrance. Seriously, you go through the door, down a small, sloping hallway (where the old dwarf and Bilbo talk), and you're there! …so, why need a door? Just dig into the side of the mountain.
- Speaking of the old dwarf and Bilbo… "And Bilbo. If you see a dragon… don't awaken it." YOU HAD ONE JOB, BILBO! ONE. JOB.
- Speaking of the side of the mountain, if indeed the dwarves inside were seeking an exit when they died (the ones who Thorin states he won't die the same way as), then why do you need a secret door? If the dwarves, once inside their home, can remember every emergency exit, why not just go to those emergency exits to enter?
- Also, there have to be exits – there HAVE to be. Forges will not burn without oxygen. If the caves are sealed, the forges will either go out or suffocate everyone. There must be air passages, and air passages = openings, BESIDES the secret door with the silly keyhole.
- Was it intentional for Smaug's first words to be (in very Sauron-esque tone, I might add), "IIIII SMELLLL YOUUUU." Kinda like, "I SEE YOU," isn't it?
- In Smaug's word, his body is iron – unbreakably strong. …yet his lips are moving. You cannot explain zat!
- Smaug can smell and hear the breathing of a single invisible Hobbit and pinpoint his exact location. Then he walks over a bunch of dwarves and the same hobbit – who have all hidden in barrels of fish and TOILETS – and doesn't even notice them, even when they're whispering.
- Hiding behind pillars does not hide you from fire. Fire curls around things.
- Thorin jumps from flaming fire and grabs rope to keep from tumbling into circular pit of doom. Firstly, convenient rope is convenient. Secondly, long rope is long. Thirdly, ancient old rope is… not acting like an ancient old rope. Then Smaug appears under him and balances Thorin on his mouth. *applause for the circus act* Oh wait, doesn't Smaug have fire breath? Eh, better wait to use it until Thorin can be rescued.
- Smaug can clearly fly. Even though Thorin calls him old (which may be true), he has no trouble flying and shaking off literal tons of hardened gold (or not hardened, apparently) from his body. Yet he finds the need to climb everywhere while underground, even in big open spaces.
- The flash fires did nothing. Admit it. Waste of time.
- All reports on the Internet tell me that the black smog cloud/Sauron = the necromancer. But the movie didn't tell me that. Movie, I feel like you don't communicate with me sometimes – we might have to break up.
- The main orc guy with one eye and scars got from fighting Gandalf in the scary tower trap place to Laketown HOW FAST? And yet it took the Hobbits HOW LONG? Only logical conclusion: main orc guy has super speed powers. Orc guy = Dash
- Still the general Lord of the Rings flaw in consistency of putting on the ring. I shouldn't be saying all the time, "Why not put the ring on now?" or "Why would you put the ring on now?" In either case, Bilbo = Violet.
- I can't actually decide whether Laketown deserves to burn at Smaug's hands because of Bilbo's lack of sneaky skills or Thorin's butt-headedness.
- First scene at Laketown: "Welcome to Venice!-- oh wait."
- Legolas and Tauriel arrive at Laketown to save the day. But wait! How did they get into the town in the first place? Okay, so they snuck in – that makes them illegal immigrants of sorts. So how did they find the exact house of Bard so fast? It wasn't like they could ask anyone. And when did they show up? Kili (who would have been better named KilED if you ask me) hasn't died yet, has he? Nope, Tauriel has enough time to save him – good. Have the orcs attacked? Just barely, enough to make it seems like the elves aren't attacking first, and not long enough for them to do any damage to any person.
- Oh, another elf thing. Legolas and Tauriel both seem convinced of the value of light. So why doesn't 600 year old Legolas's-Daddy understand that value, choosing rather to live locked up as a hermit? Shouldn't he be wiser than Legolas or Tauriel? Gosh, Middle Earth kings are stupid – Theoden, Thorin's grandfather, king of Laketown, king of elves, even Thorin himself a lot of the time.
- I must admit. Rick Riordan did a better unlikely love story than Peter Jackson. Leo and Calypso > Tauriel and…whoever it is she's going to decide to like.
- I didn't actually find much to critique about the Beast or the Spider scenes. I am happy that they actually filmed outdoors instead of the fake indoor nature scenes, which are obvious and bad.
- Legolas is a [expletive] god. -.-
- Oh, before I go. You want proof that Legolas is a god? Okay, let's omit the 100% accuracy rate and the thing about standing on two dwarves's heads on a raging river and shooting orcs with that 100% accuracy. Let's think about Laketown. Bard gets hit in the face with a wood log wielded by a fat guy who reminds me of Mackelmore. Of course, he doesn't have any bruises or breaks, but at least he gets knocked out. Now Legolas, fighting the main orc guys, gets thrown against a wood bar, which should have broken his lower back. Yet no injury or sign of injury. Then he gets kicked in the stomach by an orc foot (which probably has some form of traction in it, like cleats, but I'm only guessing). Is Legolas injured? No, he has enough strength to not only push the foot off him, but knock over the orc as well. All hail the gods of Middle Earth. Sauron the Smog, not to be confused with Smaug the dragon, and Legolas Lovey-eyes-for-Tauriel.
There you go! Besides that, I thought the movie was great, I'd recommend it to a friend or family member, and I'm looking forward to the third one.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Nineteen: "Mnemosyne" – I Hate[d] Dogs
A reminder that "mnemosyne" means "memory" in Latin, and it's the tag I use in my blog titles for two reasons. One, because I want to sound cool, and Latin words sound cool. Two, because I talk about a specific memory here.
This time, we'll be talking about dogs, and my rich personal history with them.
I couldn't have been older than four when I had my first major encounter with a canine – a full grown golden retriever. I was with my dad and one of his long time friends, and I believe they were talking and casually playing fetch with the long-time-friend's dog. Of course, at the time, as a little kid around a big dog, I had my respect for the animal, but I was ok with standing out there with them.
Until I started walking away and the Frisbee (as I remember it) flew over my head, and the dog started running towards me. Well, "at" me. And I panicked.
And ran.
And didn't get very far before the retriever lost interest in the fetch object and came after the little kid running away from it (him?... I'm afraid to say cause I don't remember the dog's gender). All told, the harrowing scene which scared my childhood life ended with me on the ground and the dog sitting on top of me.
Not cool.
In fact, I spent the next... eh, eight years of my life? Maybe ten. And I lived in somewhat mortal fear of dogs. If the dog was around, I wasn't. I could not stand to be within the "range" of a dog collared by leash. They were evil, scary creatures to me that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with.
Specifically, I can tell you about my grandparents' dog, which I spent a good amount of time around when we moved back to Atlanta from Dallas, Texas six years back (wow, six years now o3o ). A lively Jack Russell Terrier mix called Lucy.
Um, the only thing worse than big dogs is small dogs. Because small dogs are faster and more agile, which makes them better at trying to kill you when you aren't looking. Usually when we visited my grandparents, Lucy would be tied to a leash, and I never entered the range of that leash, or even got close.
Those oh so frightful times when Lucy accidentally or purposely got loose? Yeah, I'd be running up the stairs in fear of my life.
But, as could only be expected from a story like this, time went on. Eventually, I could get close to her and pet her while she sat. Of course, as soon as she got up or jerked her head for any reason, I'd be gone in a flash, safely out of range.
And then I'd be next to Dad and a loose Lucy, playing fetch and letting her keep her attention on him rather than me.
And I spent time around other more docile dogs.
And by the time I was about fourteen or fifteen, I was ok with dogs. I'm sure maturity (and getting taller) had something to do with it, but I didn't mind dogs.
It wasn't long after that before I came to enjoy them. Lucy and I have now reached the point where, if I am sitting down in a place she can be within reach, she will come and sit in front of me (without me telling her to do anything) and wait to be scratched.
My dad has taught me about caring for dogs and the sweet spots for scratching them and all these kinds of things.
Nowadays, dogs aren't so bad.
Just so long as they aren't sitting on me.
This time, we'll be talking about dogs, and my rich personal history with them.
I couldn't have been older than four when I had my first major encounter with a canine – a full grown golden retriever. I was with my dad and one of his long time friends, and I believe they were talking and casually playing fetch with the long-time-friend's dog. Of course, at the time, as a little kid around a big dog, I had my respect for the animal, but I was ok with standing out there with them.
Until I started walking away and the Frisbee (as I remember it) flew over my head, and the dog started running towards me. Well, "at" me. And I panicked.
And ran.
And didn't get very far before the retriever lost interest in the fetch object and came after the little kid running away from it (him?... I'm afraid to say cause I don't remember the dog's gender). All told, the harrowing scene which scared my childhood life ended with me on the ground and the dog sitting on top of me.
Not cool.
In fact, I spent the next... eh, eight years of my life? Maybe ten. And I lived in somewhat mortal fear of dogs. If the dog was around, I wasn't. I could not stand to be within the "range" of a dog collared by leash. They were evil, scary creatures to me that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with.
Specifically, I can tell you about my grandparents' dog, which I spent a good amount of time around when we moved back to Atlanta from Dallas, Texas six years back (wow, six years now o3o ). A lively Jack Russell Terrier mix called Lucy.
Um, the only thing worse than big dogs is small dogs. Because small dogs are faster and more agile, which makes them better at trying to kill you when you aren't looking. Usually when we visited my grandparents, Lucy would be tied to a leash, and I never entered the range of that leash, or even got close.
Those oh so frightful times when Lucy accidentally or purposely got loose? Yeah, I'd be running up the stairs in fear of my life.
But, as could only be expected from a story like this, time went on. Eventually, I could get close to her and pet her while she sat. Of course, as soon as she got up or jerked her head for any reason, I'd be gone in a flash, safely out of range.
And then I'd be next to Dad and a loose Lucy, playing fetch and letting her keep her attention on him rather than me.
And I spent time around other more docile dogs.
And by the time I was about fourteen or fifteen, I was ok with dogs. I'm sure maturity (and getting taller) had something to do with it, but I didn't mind dogs.
It wasn't long after that before I came to enjoy them. Lucy and I have now reached the point where, if I am sitting down in a place she can be within reach, she will come and sit in front of me (without me telling her to do anything) and wait to be scratched.
My dad has taught me about caring for dogs and the sweet spots for scratching them and all these kinds of things.
Nowadays, dogs aren't so bad.
Just so long as they aren't sitting on me.
Fourteen: Nicholas Flamel, Alchymist, Part 2A
[This article was written a month or two ago and I can't really be bothered to finish it. Do yourself the favor and never read these books ever. I do promise to return to what makes good and bad stories from a technical angle though. It will be fun.]
Here are some more issues I have with the first story in the book series The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott.
So this is something that I'll talk about later when I discuss what makes a good story (as opposed to a bad one like I am here). For a story to be engaging, it must have character development. Each character must have a flaw or issue that must be worked through. Take my word for it for now, but I'll give examples in a future blog.
This story has no character development.
Alright, I suppose this could be argued. But seriously. Sophie and Josh have no flaws. They're just confused, and they have every right to be. If I wasn't a critical thinker, I would be confused too.
As it is, the story is also very very very predictable. By the time the heroes are comfortable in the Shadow Realm, I guessed how the battle would end. I was correct.
When they arrived at the Witch's place in Ojai, I assumed that Dee would talk to Josh and then attack. When Dee goes all necromancer and resurrects the graveyard, I guessed that Josh would save the day.
I was correct.
In my opinion, a good story leaves me scratching my head. I shouldn't be able to make a guess even if I wanted to because it's all so confusing and interesting. In this story, I am disappointed because not only can I make a guess, I'm also correct. It's not even that I assume one thing, and then the author cleverly turns a missed detail around to give me an, "Ahhhh!" moment. Nope. Just predicable BS.
But back to what I was saying earlier. No one has flaws.
Pernelle is perfect in her little deus ex machina world.
Flamel is perfect – he's the good guy getting questioned by Josh. He's always calm, always wise, always without mistakes. Seriously, the guy makes no mistakes other than letting Dee catch up to him. But that had to happen so that the story could, now didn't it?
Again, Josh and Sophie are also relatively perfect. They love each other. They deal with the stress normally. They ask good questions. They don't get mad. Not even one of them gets mad.
"But Josh questioning Flamel!" you say. "Surely that's some development." No, that's a natural reaction. And even if it was development, tell me what he learns from it. He spends a loooong time questioning Flamel after this, even Mars.
One thing that started to annoy me by the end of the first book (and continues to annoy me as I read into the third out of five) is something the author Scott is doing just to be cool.
Did/Do you realize how many times he uses some variation of the line, "'......,' he spoke in a language that had not been uttered in a millennia"??
It's as if all these bad guys and gods and legends decided that the, "don't use the ancient languages for as long as you can" contest was over and all of a sudden everyone's speaking ancient Greek dialects and Elder tongues and on and on. For the first time since the dawn of man, apparently.
Seriously, one use of this kind of thing is fine. Twice is tolerable. Three or more? Shame on you!
Lastly. Remember last time when I mentioned that I thought this book series so far was crap with just a sprinkling of bacon bits on top? What did I mean by that?
Well, bacon bits make anything taste better.
Similarly, there's just enough in this generally lacking series to keep me reading. If only to slam it harder, but I'm still reading. So it's a tasteless series, but not so much as to make me spit it out. Not yet.
However, I am not at all hesitant to yell at the chef a little, as you've seen here.
Book 2, coming soon (later)!
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Eighteen: Keeping Time
Try to imagine a life without timekeeping.
You probably can't. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie.
Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check it's watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays.
Man alone measures time.
Man alone chimes the hour.
And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures.
A fear of time running out.
~Anonymous (not me)
You probably can't. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie.
Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check it's watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays.
Man alone measures time.
Man alone chimes the hour.
And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures.
A fear of time running out.
~Anonymous (not me)
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Seventeen: [Review] My Jams - HalyconicFalconX
Finally back online! Literally been locked out of my G+ account for the last month. <_> But we're back. Woo.
What better way to kick it off than with some music? Here, click this link and start playing the music, then come back here.
In fact, you know what? Let's just talk about some of my favorite music, artist by artist and style by style. I'll be using a bit of technical jargon every now and again, but if you don't know much about music, stick around – you might learn something.
If this post seems too long for you (and it might), consider reading it in sections! Read about #3 and 2 first, and the come back for #1 later, if that suits you better than a wall of text all at once.
What better way to kick it off than with some music? Here, click this link and start playing the music, then come back here.
In fact, you know what? Let's just talk about some of my favorite music, artist by artist and style by style. I'll be using a bit of technical jargon every now and again, but if you don't know much about music, stick around – you might learn something.
If this post seems too long for you (and it might), consider reading it in sections! Read about #3 and 2 first, and the come back for #1 later, if that suits you better than a wall of text all at once.
HalyconicFalconX
AKA Phyrnna. Gal composer, if you couldn't tell. Made the music you're listening to, primarily for the purpose of this great computer game called Epic Battle Fantasy V (EBF5). But that's beside the point.
Alright. My Top 3 list of Phyrnna's music, all of them from EBF5.
3. Elfin (click to listen)
If you know anything about self-composing, you can recognize when music is done locally – i.e. not with a band or an orchestra. I can identify no more than 5, maybe 6 instruments, all from a keyboard, playing at the same time at any point in this song. And to create such a rich sound, that's pretty impressive.
There's something about the percussion in this song – the drums – that make it iconic to Phyrnna's music. They sound hollow, like they're kinda a ways down the road but you can still hear them... I'm not sure if it's due to an audio filter or just reverb, but it's pretty dang cool.
The other interesting part of this song is that it has no carrying melody. Many songs have that one instrument – the violin, electric guitar, piano, etc. – that plays the notes that someone would sing if the song had words. This song has no melody; instead, it's ambient. Ambient music is simply songs that (surprise, surprise) have no defining melody. Therefore, they tend to blend into the background a bit when you listen to them, and they make for great listening music when you're concentrating on something.
I could turn a shadowed eye to the fact that this song has some uncomfortable pan to it. Pan is when sounds come only out of one ear or the other. Like, put some headphones on if you have em and listen to the first bit of this song. You feel that humming buzz where the electric piano pulses rapidly between your ears? That's called a pan. A rapid pan, for that song.
Elfin is a bit different in that the pan is more subtle, but if you listen through to the different sets of strings, you'll hear that some seem to be coming from the front left, some from the front right, and some from almost behind you. Was this intentional? Yes, it was meant to add some flavor to the song. Is it inherently bad? No absolutely not. I just don't like it. It doesn't feel like it fits for me, especially since the strings spend a lot of time in my right ear more than my left. It's just distracting, I guess, since I almost always listen to music with headphones.
2. Crystalis Fantasia (press ze hyperlink)
I have a question for you! Is this song ambient or not?
Do you have an answer? Seriously, come up with one, cause I wanna compare my answer to yours.
In theory, there's no melody to the song, and yet if you listen to it a dozen times like I have, you can definitely sing along, which is usually less defined in ambient music.
I think the reason this song is so tricky to identify is because it uses runs. You know, the bell things that go high to low "du-nuh-nuh-nuh" over and over, just changing patterns. These are four notes which make up a chord, like C, F, G, or Aminor.
And then there's a second run going which is deeper and rolls up and down.
And then the pounding percussion.
And then halfway through the song, the electric guitar kicks in (played from a keyboard by the way, I can promise you), which only strengthens the fact that the song is being played in chord blocks. The C section, then the Aminor section than the Eminor section and on and on.
So does it have a melody or not? Ambient or not? My answers respectively are no and arguably yes, but I won't hold tight to my claim. It's a beautifully crafted driving winter song – a jarring shake in our usual expectations of joyous belled Christmas music, yet it still manages to carry a happy demeanor. And I think that while the song doesn't have the melody, the simplicity of the chords makes it hummable. Not melodically, but hummable. Let me know if you think the same or different.
One complaint I might make against Fantasia is... I'm honestly not terribly sure. I think the high bells start to get a little annoying after a while, but I can't suggest a bit with a lower register (bass guitar or something), because that's already present. Maybe the fact that it's always running with no definite melody is what makes it feel so repetitive and generic and ultimately annoying after a very long time... but even that's not a very strong complain. As you can see, I hold this tune in very high regard.
1. Weshdoor Concert (cliiiiick!)
Listen to it for a bit... listen... you identify that the strings are doing some modified chord pluck... smile, cause you know you like it.... drums kick in... oh wait, maybe electric guitars aren't your thing. Oh well, that's fine by me. I still love it, and I'm still gonna talk about it.
This song is different than the other two! Take a guess why.
It has a melody! It's not necessarily ambience! No this song has a definite single note cantable running all the way through it, expressed either through the flute or the weird psychedelic electric guitar, both played on a keyboard, I promise.
The melodic tune is catchy! The background run is unique and iconic! The buzzing bassline makes your head bob. Signs of a great song.
If I had one complaint, it would be the lack of variety. I understand that the song is meant to be the theme for a certain area of EBF5 – in fact, I think it's extremely appropriate seeing as how I've played the game, and I can see myself running through a forest littered with stone idols and volcanic caves.
Even so, there's that one flute/electric guitar theme and then there's the constant "drun-drun-drun-drun" on and on and on in the bass register for the entire rest of the song.
Cool part about that is it gets those two parts stuck in your head a lot faster than a diverse song does, but it just keeps the replayability down a little – that is to say, you can't listen to the song for too long or too many times before it loses it's appeal, and then you have to wait a while for that appeal to return (a day or two for me, usually).
I'm not gonna say that this is a better remix, but EliteFerrex, another talented artist, redid the song and added a little more flavor to it. Melody and harmony, and a bridge thing (you should recognize it cause it's not in the original). Which do you like better?
Honorable Mention: Van al Tag and Van al Tag (Extended)
Two mixes of the same memorable song. The first Van al Tag is heavier, due to the heavy bass and snare drums and beeping bass synth all through the song, while the second only has that driving bass drum from Crystalis Fantasia, which makes it seem more lighthearted.
Yet, a paradox. The first Van plays the melody in a higher register, while the Extended Van runs a deep far away guitar. So... really, do the two cancel each other out?
Which do you like better? The first, heavier (or is it really?) Van? Or the more excited Van al Tag (Extended), whose energy is only helped by the fluttering violin coursing through the whole thing and coating it in life?
I think I like the second one myself, just because there's more instrumental variety. They're both really good though, just not good enough to make the list.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Sixteen: Quote Dump 2
If you didn't see the first Quote Dump, maybe look at it here? This is basically more of that.
No offense is intended by any of the following.
Canada: Someone bumped into my chair and I said sorry.
America: Someone bumped into my chair and I punched them in the face.
Japan: Someone bumped into my chair and I surrendered.
Germany: Someone bumped into my chair and I invaded their country.
Dang this is such a good song. Let me play it 86 times an hour until I hate it.
I'm actually laughing so hard because all the girls are about to cry and there's this one guy in the middle that is just so done with all of them.
Are we gonna ignore the guy on the far right's impressive... lady-like chest thing?
And the one girl trying to eat her phone.
There is also a displeased woman in the bottom left corner.
And a hairy armpit above the displeased woman.
On a scale of one to invade Russia in the winter, how bad is your idea?
"Do you ever get up from your computer to walk aimlessly around your house, only to sit back down in front of your computer again?"
"I pointlessly open the fridge too."
"Sometimes I just stand in the middle of the living room and look lost."
"Why am I in the bathroom?"
If you had a room with absolutely nothing in it and the walls, ceiling, and floor were made of mirror, what would it look like in the mirrors?
omg Barbie, you left the seat up.
What the heck, Barbie. Having shelves over your bathtub is a hazard! You could sit up andh it your head off them!
Seriously Barbie, what was you thinking?
It's so dangerous to leave knives on the floor, Barbie! You should get them out of harm's way before you cut your toes.
BARBIEE!!! That mirror isn't even properly held to the wall. You don't want 7 years of bad luck, do you??
Hey... I didn't notice... you don't have any curtains, Barbie!! What if one of the neighbors peeks through the window?
And you can't keep a fish in a fishbowl just like that! It's too small; the fish need water and oxygen exchange – that's animal torture!
omg Barbie pink and brown. Really? You are supposed to be a fashion icon.
Barbie you should keep that medicine in a locked cabinet. A child could take it and DIE.
Barbie, at least you keep your toilet water blue.
Is no one going to acknowledge that she's preparing food in her bathroom?
"My ears. They are ringing."
"Are you gonna answer em?"
STAND
I
If I ever met a genie, I wouldn't wish for a million dollars; I'd wish that whenever I bought something, I'd always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket.
The headline: DOCTOR WHO AIDED BIN LADED RAID IN JAIL
Are you the Sun? Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.
Do you think prison guards use proactive to prevent breakouts?
Which country has the most birds?
Portugeese
No wait. That's a language.
...
Portugull
Nice recovery.
Be careful making wishes in the
[aggressively slams hand on the table twice]
DARK DARK.
Names child Butter.
Accidentally brings home wrong child.
I can't believe it's not Butter.
What are you doing to stop global warming right now?
"Turning my AC all the way up to cool off the earth around my house."
Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City
I'm a thousand miles away but girl
Tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do.
I installed a camera in your room.
I'm watching you.
wat
Friend: "What stays in a corner but goes around the world?"
Me: "..."
Friend: "A stamp."
Me: "You just changed my life."
Friend: "Are you ok?"
Me: "no"
Remember this?
You think it's funny.
Except that in Greek, "I am retired" is literally "Eimai suntaxiouchos," which is two words.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...
Disney.
I can't wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I'm going to spell everyone's name wrong so they can't instagram their cups.
Madonna is 55 and her boyfriend is 22.
Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her boyfriend is 26.
Mariah Carey is 44 and her husband is 32.
if you're not dating anyone, don't worry about it. Maybe he hasn't been born yet.
Apparently the plural, gender-neutral form for nieces and nephews is "niblings."
This is the only way by which I shall refer to my siblings' future kids.
wow what a bold statement
I as born at an incredibly young age.
Me: I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Now I'm lion on the cold hard ground.
Friend: That is so lame. Who do you think you are?
Me: Running round leaving Scars.
No offense is intended by any of the following.
Canada: Someone bumped into my chair and I said sorry.
America: Someone bumped into my chair and I punched them in the face.
Japan: Someone bumped into my chair and I surrendered.
Germany: Someone bumped into my chair and I invaded their country.
Dang this is such a good song. Let me play it 86 times an hour until I hate it.
I'm actually laughing so hard because all the girls are about to cry and there's this one guy in the middle that is just so done with all of them.
Are we gonna ignore the guy on the far right's impressive... lady-like chest thing?
And the one girl trying to eat her phone.
There is also a displeased woman in the bottom left corner.
And a hairy armpit above the displeased woman.
On a scale of one to invade Russia in the winter, how bad is your idea?
"Do you ever get up from your computer to walk aimlessly around your house, only to sit back down in front of your computer again?"
"I pointlessly open the fridge too."
"Sometimes I just stand in the middle of the living room and look lost."
"Why am I in the bathroom?"
If you had a room with absolutely nothing in it and the walls, ceiling, and floor were made of mirror, what would it look like in the mirrors?
omg Barbie, you left the seat up.
What the heck, Barbie. Having shelves over your bathtub is a hazard! You could sit up andh it your head off them!
Seriously Barbie, what was you thinking?
It's so dangerous to leave knives on the floor, Barbie! You should get them out of harm's way before you cut your toes.
BARBIEE!!! That mirror isn't even properly held to the wall. You don't want 7 years of bad luck, do you??
Hey... I didn't notice... you don't have any curtains, Barbie!! What if one of the neighbors peeks through the window?
And you can't keep a fish in a fishbowl just like that! It's too small; the fish need water and oxygen exchange – that's animal torture!
omg Barbie pink and brown. Really? You are supposed to be a fashion icon.
Barbie you should keep that medicine in a locked cabinet. A child could take it and DIE.
Barbie, at least you keep your toilet water blue.
Is no one going to acknowledge that she's preparing food in her bathroom?
"My ears. They are ringing."
"Are you gonna answer em?"
STAND
I
If I ever met a genie, I wouldn't wish for a million dollars; I'd wish that whenever I bought something, I'd always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket.
The headline: DOCTOR WHO AIDED BIN LADED RAID IN JAIL
Are you the Sun? Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.
 |
| Look at the majestic flag of the USA, billowing in the wind. The other flag with the stars on it is nice too. |
Do you think prison guards use proactive to prevent breakouts?
Which country has the most birds?
Portugeese
No wait. That's a language.
...
Portugull
Nice recovery.
Be careful making wishes in the
[aggressively slams hand on the table twice]
DARK DARK.
Names child Butter.
Accidentally brings home wrong child.
I can't believe it's not Butter.
What are you doing to stop global warming right now?
"Turning my AC all the way up to cool off the earth around my house."
Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City
I'm a thousand miles away but girl
Tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do.
I installed a camera in your room.
I'm watching you.
wat
Friend: "What stays in a corner but goes around the world?"
Me: "..."
Friend: "A stamp."
Me: "You just changed my life."
Friend: "Are you ok?"
Me: "no"
Remember this?
Except that in Greek, "I am retired" is literally "Eimai suntaxiouchos," which is two words.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...
Disney.
I can't wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I'm going to spell everyone's name wrong so they can't instagram their cups.
Madonna is 55 and her boyfriend is 22.
Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her boyfriend is 26.
Mariah Carey is 44 and her husband is 32.
if you're not dating anyone, don't worry about it. Maybe he hasn't been born yet.
Apparently the plural, gender-neutral form for nieces and nephews is "niblings."
This is the only way by which I shall refer to my siblings' future kids.
wow what a bold statement
I as born at an incredibly young age.
Me: I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Now I'm lion on the cold hard ground.
Friend: That is so lame. Who do you think you are?
Me: Running round leaving Scars.
Fifteen: I'm on Bandcamp! =^.^=
Huh? What? Bandcamp? What's that and why do I expect you to care?
I can't answer the Huh and What, but Bandcamp I can explain.
Basically it's like Twitter for musicians. Except that instead of text posts, you make music posts. People can download or buy your music, like or follow you as an artist, or search for what they want to see.
So yeah. I put two old songs up on my new page (which is still being designed), and you can check it out HERE!
One cool thing about Bandcamp is their "Name your price" feature. You (yes you) can use it to download my music for free, or if you feel so inclined to give me random money, you can enter in an amount.
If you want it for free (which I assume you do), just type a zero (0) in the box and then download it for free.
You can find all my songs listed on the sidebar on the right.
Background art and banners and stuff are in the works so the place looks a little less generic. But there you go.
That song that I demoed a few posts ago? Will go up on the page on August 4 or 5, so keep your eyes open.
And that's all. Just some shameless self promotion. Enjoy the tunes!
I can't answer the Huh and What, but Bandcamp I can explain.
Basically it's like Twitter for musicians. Except that instead of text posts, you make music posts. People can download or buy your music, like or follow you as an artist, or search for what they want to see.
So yeah. I put two old songs up on my new page (which is still being designed), and you can check it out HERE!
One cool thing about Bandcamp is their "Name your price" feature. You (yes you) can use it to download my music for free, or if you feel so inclined to give me random money, you can enter in an amount.
If you want it for free (which I assume you do), just type a zero (0) in the box and then download it for free.
You can find all my songs listed on the sidebar on the right.
Background art and banners and stuff are in the works so the place looks a little less generic. But there you go.
That song that I demoed a few posts ago? Will go up on the page on August 4 or 5, so keep your eyes open.
And that's all. Just some shameless self promotion. Enjoy the tunes!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Thirteen: Nicholas Flamel, Alchymist
Have you read The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel by Michael Scott?
You should!
My English teacher Mrs. Maupin, whose opinion I respect greatly, called it one of her favorite book series – creative, engaging, and highly original.
I thought it was a lot of crap (with just a bit of bacon bits on top).
This will not be a single blog. It will carry on as more thoughts come to mind. In the process, I will attempt to avoid spoilers as much as possible. All potential spoilers will be marked. Read at your own risk.
Book 1, The Alchymist
The story starts off strong, in very Rick Riordan style. Stuff is happening and we don't know what it is, but we can tell it's cool.
The first thing that caught my attention is questionable. I felt that as the twins question Flamel about the basics of who he is, what the Codex is, what Golems are, who John Dee is, etc., there's something stiff about it.
Compared to Riordan's "Percy Jackson" series, the dialogue seems very unnatural. As if the twins are asking questions just so that the writer can tell us readers things about the world he has envisioned in his mind, rather than because they genuinely have questions.
But maybe that's just me.
Then there's Perenelle. Ooooh Perenelle.
Lemme explain something to you that I reference a lot – deus ex machina. Literally means, "god from the machine". It's a writing flaw in which characters do things or have abilities beyond their control, rather than developing or using their resources to find the solution. An example is in the simple story where Jim gets lost in the woods.
A good way to write the story would be that Jim realizes his potential danger, scavenges for firewood, builds himself a suitable shelter, wards off the night, and uses the direction of the Sun to hike to safety.
The deus ex machina way to write the story would be that Jim just happens to find a walkie talkie in his pocket and calls for help.
-- Spoilers exist beyond this point! Skip if you plan on reading the series for yourself! --
So Pernelle gets captured by Dee, who puts restraining seals on her hands. But a Golem just happens to splash a little on her, washing away the seal. Not so bad, right? Except that she blows up the car as a result. The story is driven by something that just happens to happen.
Oh no, Pernelle is being held prisoner by Dee! Then it sure is a good thing that she has a power to talk to ghosts who can give vital messages back and forth between her and her husband.
Sophie is in trouble, along with the rest of the crew! The Morrigan, Bastet, and Dee are attacking the tree. If only Pernelle could help. Well, why doesn't she control Sophie then from her prison? How? How about through the conveniently-placed GOSH DARN (imagine stronger British language here) oil spill on the floor?!?
--End of spoilers--
AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! The entire flipping story is driven by deus ex machine baloney sandwiches.
My point is, if I have to explain a story by saying, "it just happens that...", then it's a bad story. I absolutely hate deus ex machina stories, especially ones that drive the plot. They are bad stories. Period.
More deus ex machina unfortunately exists elsewhere in the story. And you know what? To make matters worse, I have to mark all these as potential spoilers. Why is that bad? Because. It's one thing to have deus ex machinas that aren't major story elements. But these are all major story elements. Bad. Writing.
-- Spoilers exist beyond this point! Skip if you plan on reading the series for yourself! --
(Although I imagine you'll probably guess what'll happen before it does – I did, and I'll talk about that a little bit further down.)
Oh look, Josh (the story character) saved two of the most important pages in the Codex from Dee. What a lucky coincidence!!(?!?)
The crows are about to destroy the car that has our heroes in it! But fortunately for us, Flamel just happens (those words again) to have a collectable favor from an all powerful being who can send a convenient wind to blow away the crows. Greeeeat.
An epic battle is being fought for Heckate's tree. Sophie is being super cool, Flamel is using his magic, and the Morrigan and Bastet are on the hesitant run. It seems that the bad guys are about to lose. Oh wait. Dee has a super ice sword that takes 10 seconds to STAB AND COMPLETELY FREEZE A GOSH DARN ANCIENT TREE AND KILL SOMEONE WHO IS BASICALLY A GODDESS OF LEGEND.
Sophie is talking to the Witch of Endor. Unfortunately, Josh must leave. Upset, he goes outside. How emotional (no not really. I'll talk about character development or the lack thereof in a bit). How convenient that it just so happens that Dee is arriving there to talk to Josh and make him question Flamel. This isn't a big deal you say? No, it's a huge deal, because it leads to all of Book 2 with Dee, Josh, and Mars Ultor (remember?).
Josh is about to die at the hands of a zombie bear! Good thing Sohpie's screams are both good for breaking twins out of semi-conscious states as well as obliterating the incoming zombie threat, huh?
The Witch of Ojai. The only one who can help Sophie. But now everyone is in danger. Dee is closing in on them. Suddenly, the Witch's decision to have her shop at the intersection of three ley lines seems like such a good thing, doesn't it?
--End of spoilers--
Again, the point is that this book is absolutely riddled with plot-moving deus ex machina (DExM) moments. I'd compare it to the old Disney movie The Emperor's New Groove. Think about it and let me know how many DExM's you find there. I'll give you as many as I can think of later.
Alright, this is getting pretty long. And I'm not even done ranting about this first book. So we'll put it off till next time.
On the next installment of "All that's wrong with this book series":
Lacking character development.
Cliche lines for lifeeee!
Too much being done with too little.
Twelve: God > The Avengers (and proof)
This is a repost of something from six months ago. Although the Avengers hype has died down significantly, I believe a revival and reminder is always a good thing.
For my purposes, the Avengers are the ones who got movies about themselves: The Hulk, Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man.
Paul called it out before it even started.
1 Thesselonians 4:3-6 says:For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you.
Now, let's throw some names in there.
The same verse again, with brackets added to indicate names:For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality [Iron Man]; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel [Hulk] in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God [Captain America]; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter [Thor] because the LORD is the AVENGER in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you.
As I said, God > Avengers.
Eleven: Locked Out
My computer tries to limit questionable websites, and one of the ways it does that is by blocking every website requiring a log in.
So I've been locked out of blogging for the last two weeks. That's where I've been, if you must know.
But we're back. Just as a teaser, here's some of the stuff that's in the works. I will be pushing these just as soon as they're ready (and in no particular order).
- Short exposition on God and the Avengers.
- More "Mnemosyne".
- Lessons learned from BIO@TECH.
- A talk on my music, some of which is now published.
- To me what makes a good story.
- A review on "The Secrets of the immortal Nicholas Flamel" book series.
--
For now though, let's talk about computer parental controls.
The Negatives
The negatives come first because there seem to be more of them.
When I'm working and my computer tells me, "5 more minutes till 10 PM", that can get kind of annoying. If I'm in an online conversation or working on music or art or even a blog, there's nothing I can do except try to time a good ending point with the hard stop the computer gives me at 10 PM. After that time, my account logs out and doesn't reactivate till the morning.
I've had to interrupt some serious activities because of the log out timer before. Was in a game and on a Skype call with a friend when all of a sudden, the computer without warning tells me I have two minutes left. All of a sudden, it's a mad rush to make an excuse to go and quit the game and make sure nothing will break in 120 seconds or less. Stuff like that has happened in various forms on multiple occasions, namely conversations with friends (which I consider serious – more so than playing a game).
Moreover, stuff like popups saying, "You can't access this website," can be very annoying. Especially when they keep me from blogging about how annoying they are.
One time I was podcasting. We use a Google Doc for our outline. I went to open the link and the site became blocked for no apparent reason. It wouldn't open for the length of the podcast, putting me at a serious disadvantage. It's hard to deal with stuff like that when we're streaming live for 15 people around the world.
The Positives
On the other hand, I get to bed at a decent time. This is huge, cause it wouldn't happen otherwise.
I get to do my quiet times in the Bible without my distraction before my computer reactivates in the morning.
I get to practice asking for help (usually to unlock websites), which is not something I'm terribly good at. The asking, not the unlocking.
The Conclusion
Would I remove the limits on my computer if I had the choice? I'd be hard pressed to say yes. Sometimes I would REALLY REALLY REALLY like to keep working past 10PM. Sometimes I would REALLY REALLY REALLY like to work without interrupting popups or log on earlier in the morning.
But the small benefits for me outweigh the downsides enough that I'd have to say no more times than yes.
It's a tough position to be in – deciding such a thing – because there are reasons to support both sides. I'm not going to say, "I'm glad I have those limits" because I'm not. Removing them would not be an offense to me whatsoever. But while they're still there, I enjoy the benefits of a computer that forces me to exercise self-control as well.
--
More coming down the pipe soon. Stay tuned.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Ten: A Lesson Learned from Lockdown
You know those things in life where something relates really well to another thing, even though the two shouldn't be related? I'm going to talk about that for a bit.
The one thing in my case is Tae Kwon Do. Sparring, specifically. Where you put on some protective gear and fight a similarly outfitted opponent. When I started, sparring was all about just making contact with the opponent. Swing a foot blindly at a large target and hope it hits. Try not to let the same thing happen to you.
When fighting stronger or more experienced students, I found that they could always reach me and do their damage, but I could hardly seem to make contact with them, much less a solid strike.
It was about that time when I first discovered the second relatable thing – a sport called Lockdown.
Now listen to me. Don't leave when I tell you that Lockdown is a video game game. Please.
Lockdown is a game where you join a team of up to five other players and battle with swords, guns, and bombs against an opposing team of equal number. The goal of the game is to capture certain areas of land by standing on them. Holding more areas (often called "points", as in "point of control") gets you more points more quickly.
Bear with me. Just a little more explanation.
Within this Lockdown game, there are three classes you can play – Guardian, Recon, and Striker. Recon isn't important for this discussion, so I won't describe it.
As a Guardian, you carry a large shield which you can use to defend yourself and other teammates. Having the shield up prevents you from attacking but will also slowly heal you and those around you.
As a Striker, you get a booster on your back that allows you to run very very quickly for a few seconds. When the Striker booster runs out of power, you have to wait a few seconds for it to recharge, at which time you are vulnerable. As a Striker, your sword damage and swing speed are strengthened.
How do the two relate? It's something I've only begun to discover recently, especially when sparring in Tae Kwon Do. I will usually fight in two styles, depending on how I'm feeling. In one, I give a high pressure fight, throwing fast kicks with a relentless force, never offering the opponent or myself a break. In the other, I wait patiently, keeping up my strength, controlling the center of the fighting area when possible, and throwing super fast single or double kicks when the opponent gets too close. If the opponent does get in close, I use powerful kicks to try to make them rethink their decision.
See the connection? Maybe not.
I've literally learned from my experience playing Lockdown as a Striker that even though you're going fast (kicking is like close combat with swords in Lockdown), you have to also be accurate. As a Striker in game, you can't just zoom into the enemy and start hacking at them, because they'll do the same to you. Instead, zip in, swing once really quick (because you have those sword bonuses), and then zip back out, and then immediately back in to repeat the process. The same applies to sparring. In Lockdown, when you've zipped to the point of running out of Striker boost (run out of energy in sparring), you step away from the fight and try to keep your distance until your strength regenerates.
As a Guardian in Lockdown, you wait. If someone (say a Striker) comes up and starts hacking at your not-invincible shield, you wait till you see an opening between their swings, put your shield down for a split second, swing yourself, and then put your shield back up. Keep moving, even though you're slower, control the center of the battle, and wear them down. When they run out of boost, pursue them relentlessly, and swing quick and fast, ready for them to retaliate at any point.
This relates directly to sparring in Tae Kwon Do. Read the last paragraph again, but think about it in terms of fighting with kicks instead of blades.
I could go more in depth about stuff like aiming kicks the same way you try to swing at a player's blind spot in Lockdown or fighting on the point in Lockdown to keep getting points for your team even when you're contesting just like you fight in the center of the sparring ring to keep the stationary advantage... but I feel I would bore you.
This may not be an insight for everyone – in fact, I'm sure it isn't – but this is an expression of a lesson I've learned from a game and been able to apply directly to life. I've realized just recently that the reflexes I use in one sport are the same that kick in when I participate in the other.
Lockdown and sparring. Who knew there would be a connection?
The one thing in my case is Tae Kwon Do. Sparring, specifically. Where you put on some protective gear and fight a similarly outfitted opponent. When I started, sparring was all about just making contact with the opponent. Swing a foot blindly at a large target and hope it hits. Try not to let the same thing happen to you.
When fighting stronger or more experienced students, I found that they could always reach me and do their damage, but I could hardly seem to make contact with them, much less a solid strike.
It was about that time when I first discovered the second relatable thing – a sport called Lockdown.
Now listen to me. Don't leave when I tell you that Lockdown is a video game game. Please.
Lockdown is a game where you join a team of up to five other players and battle with swords, guns, and bombs against an opposing team of equal number. The goal of the game is to capture certain areas of land by standing on them. Holding more areas (often called "points", as in "point of control") gets you more points more quickly.
Bear with me. Just a little more explanation.
Within this Lockdown game, there are three classes you can play – Guardian, Recon, and Striker. Recon isn't important for this discussion, so I won't describe it.
As a Guardian, you carry a large shield which you can use to defend yourself and other teammates. Having the shield up prevents you from attacking but will also slowly heal you and those around you.
As a Striker, you get a booster on your back that allows you to run very very quickly for a few seconds. When the Striker booster runs out of power, you have to wait a few seconds for it to recharge, at which time you are vulnerable. As a Striker, your sword damage and swing speed are strengthened.
How do the two relate? It's something I've only begun to discover recently, especially when sparring in Tae Kwon Do. I will usually fight in two styles, depending on how I'm feeling. In one, I give a high pressure fight, throwing fast kicks with a relentless force, never offering the opponent or myself a break. In the other, I wait patiently, keeping up my strength, controlling the center of the fighting area when possible, and throwing super fast single or double kicks when the opponent gets too close. If the opponent does get in close, I use powerful kicks to try to make them rethink their decision.
See the connection? Maybe not.
I've literally learned from my experience playing Lockdown as a Striker that even though you're going fast (kicking is like close combat with swords in Lockdown), you have to also be accurate. As a Striker in game, you can't just zoom into the enemy and start hacking at them, because they'll do the same to you. Instead, zip in, swing once really quick (because you have those sword bonuses), and then zip back out, and then immediately back in to repeat the process. The same applies to sparring. In Lockdown, when you've zipped to the point of running out of Striker boost (run out of energy in sparring), you step away from the fight and try to keep your distance until your strength regenerates.
As a Guardian in Lockdown, you wait. If someone (say a Striker) comes up and starts hacking at your not-invincible shield, you wait till you see an opening between their swings, put your shield down for a split second, swing yourself, and then put your shield back up. Keep moving, even though you're slower, control the center of the battle, and wear them down. When they run out of boost, pursue them relentlessly, and swing quick and fast, ready for them to retaliate at any point.
This relates directly to sparring in Tae Kwon Do. Read the last paragraph again, but think about it in terms of fighting with kicks instead of blades.
I could go more in depth about stuff like aiming kicks the same way you try to swing at a player's blind spot in Lockdown or fighting on the point in Lockdown to keep getting points for your team even when you're contesting just like you fight in the center of the sparring ring to keep the stationary advantage... but I feel I would bore you.
This may not be an insight for everyone – in fact, I'm sure it isn't – but this is an expression of a lesson I've learned from a game and been able to apply directly to life. I've realized just recently that the reflexes I use in one sport are the same that kick in when I participate in the other.
Lockdown and sparring. Who knew there would be a connection?
Friday, June 14, 2013
Nine: "Mnemosyne" – Eye Color
This is the least inspirational blog post ever. But at least you'll learn something about me. Maybe.
By the way, potential sporadic series called "Mnemosyne"? Basically means "memory" in Greek, and it's where I'll talk about something from years gone by... I have lots of mnemosynes of the weirdest kind, so it won't be hard.
By the way, potential sporadic series called "Mnemosyne"? Basically means "memory" in Greek, and it's where I'll talk about something from years gone by... I have lots of mnemosynes of the weirdest kind, so it won't be hard.
Mnemosyne
Preschool. We were filling in some sort of fact sheet about ourselves. I think we measured our height, wrote our family's names, and stuff like that. Well, it came time to declare our eye colors, so everyone went over the the mirror sitting up against the yellow painted wall and took turns staring at ourselves. I was one of the first up and so got up there and looked really close. The problem was, at that time I'd never dealt with eye color before. I didn't exactly know what I was looking for. Moreover, there was a line behind me. So I stepped out of line and went back to my desk.
I overheard other kids as they discovered their eyes to be blue, green, or brown. In confusion, I asked my teacher if someone could have black eyes. "No, not usually," was the basic response.
I went back to the mirror when the line had abated and looked at myself again. I looked reallyy close. But I could not discern any color – it was just a bluish white eyeball with a full black center. I flagged my teacher back down (again) and told her that I couldn't tell what my eye color was. She looked and told me to just put brown, so I did.
Now
Fact of the matter is, my eyes by default really are black. My eye color changes, which I suppose it always has, but it is normally black. If I'm in the Sun a great deal, my eyes tend to be more brown, but in all other cases, they have no discernible color whatsoever.
When people ask me what color my eyes are, I respond with brown. I do this for two reasons. First of all, they kinda are, just not all the time. Second, if you tell someone your eyes are black, then they often think you're a little kid who just can't figure out what your eye color is. And for me and my obvious Asian looks, everyone assumes brown anyways and just thinks I don't know it. So I say brown.
So there you go. Next time we talk, look me in the eyes and tell me if I've been spending time in the Sun or not. ;)
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Eight: Highest (Never Have Imagined) Demo
Just a short one here because I think it's time I get off my computer.
But don't judge me – it's for a good cause. I've been writing and editing music pretty much the whole time (if you must know, I took an 8 minute break to catch up on E3 news).
The song I've been working on is called Highest (Never Have Imagined).
But don't judge me – it's for a good cause. I've been writing and editing music pretty much the whole time (if you must know, I took an 8 minute break to catch up on E3 news).
The song I've been working on is called Highest (Never Have Imagined).
The background/reason for the song:
A good friend of mine has a birthday coming up in the autumn season, after school is out. Basically, I'm planning a couple of projects in advance right now, because my July month is all but completely blocked out – university summer program and church summer camp, and I start school August 1.
So I asked my friend what I might do for their birthday as a gift, be it artwork, music, or whatever. When I proposed a song, the friend immediately said yes to the idea.
That's basically the background and the reason. It's a birthday song for a close friend. There was the motivation.
But that was earlier in the week, and I had another problem. I sat down yesterday for two hours, playing with different instruments and different melodies. Usually, doing such lands me on some inspiration which leads to the rest of a song. No such luck yesterday. I ended up with nothing except the chord progression to Nicki Minaj's "Starships" or whatever it's called, which I found on accident.
I kept running into the same progression, no matter which key I played. For you music theorists, it was some combination of I, vi, IV, V. For you non-music theorists, this.
Is it pretty? Yeah, sure. But it's also THE most overused combinations of chords ever. Don't believe me?
Alright, so I had a problem, because all I could do were the I, vi, IV, and V chords. Thankfully, a new tune hit me late last night and stuck with me till this morning. This morning, I planned to just do a little of it. You know, record a couple instruments.
...I've spent 8:30 AM this morning through 12:00 noon – stopped for lunch – and then through 4:30 PM just working on this. I constructed two verses, a chorus, a special repeat at the end, a bridge, lyrics, and THE ENTIRE SONG IS EVEN INFINITELY LOOPABLE as an instrumental track. 3 minutes 40 seconds of audio, like I said.
All I have to do now (and by now, I mean later) is figure out the vocal harmony. And then sing the whole thing.
But isn't that just like me? Getting a project with a deadline of the autumn season and almost finishing it half-way through June?
Why is the title structured so weird?
Simply, the original name was going to be "Never Have Imagined", but that specific line ended up being the third line in the chorus instead of the first or last. The first line in the chorus is "This is the Highest", so I chose "Highest" to be the main line, and "Never Have Imagined" to be the subtitle.
Why are you talking about it and not letting me hear it?
Well aren't you a feisty one? I've got 20 seconds of it here. The entire thing is 3 minutes 40 seconds, but... I don't want to show off the whole thing yet.
There are lyrics too, but I've yet to record those. Like I said, I think I'm done for now.
When I do finish the whole thing, I will release the instrumental version via Bandcamp. The lyrics will be reserved for the recipient only.
When I do finish the whole thing, I will release the instrumental version via Bandcamp. The lyrics will be reserved for the recipient only.
If you would like to hear a sample of my current favorite brainchild, click here.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Seven: A TotalBiscuit Review Review
This is a review of a pseudo-humorous review by a British man named TotalBiscuit.
The original five minute video of his review is here:
TotalBiscuit's review is on the XBox press conference, which I happened to watch live. I know everything that happened, so when he gave his comment, I figured I'd give mine and compare/contrast with him.
Use the timestamp headers to identify where I'm commenting on in the video.
The original five minute video of his review is here:
Background
Currently this week, E3, one of the biggest electronic conferences annually, is taking place in Los Angeles. Yesterday held the press conferences for XBox, EA, Sony, Ubisoft, and more.TotalBiscuit's review is on the XBox press conference, which I happened to watch live. I know everything that happened, so when he gave his comment, I figured I'd give mine and compare/contrast with him.
Use the timestamp headers to identify where I'm commenting on in the video.
0:05 - "We brought games this time, really!"
Yeah, really. The first press conference where the new XBox One was revealed was just full of, "You can watch movies! You can watch TV!" and on and on. People don't care about TV on their XBox. I don't want TV in my XBox. I want games.
Granted, all things considered, they really did bring games this time. Almost the entire 90 minutes was dedicated to games, with very little on the Kinect or TV at all.
0:11 - Metal Gear Solid
The conference opened with this game trailer. I cannot remember the name of the gentleman who directed this video, but he is kind of the Stephen Spielberg of game trailers. And I gotta admit, this one looked pretty cool. If you have to, go look it up online and watch it for yourself. The character dynamics look really developed, and the bad guy is really [expletive].
And I've never even played any of the MGS games before.
Do I agree with Biscuit? I agree with his honest review, which is different from this pseudo-humorous, overly critical one. It looks interesting enough.
0:22 - "Exclusive... no, not exclusive."
Alright, this was really stupid. The community manager up and posts that the game will be available only for the XBox One on Twitter. Later, he corrects himself and says that it won't. And yet the original, incorrect tweet is not deleted. That is to say, "We know we made a mistake, but the people who come late and see this tweet don't have to know that. They can think they're getting something special." I have a problem with that.
0:40 - XBox 360
...what was even the point of this? Why are they remaking the XBox 360 and charging more for it, when everyone already has theirs – it's been 7 years since the 360 came out – and anyone looking for a new one would just buy the One? Makes no sense from a consumer standpoint.
0:50 - World of Tanks
So we're bringing hugely successful PC titles to console because the PC platform has so many more players. Alright, I can buy that.
But we're also going to completely misrepresent the game. I ain't buying it no more.
This also raises the question: who will be the first company to get their hands on League of Legends or Smite? Therein lies guaranteed money.
1:05 - Dark Souls 2
"I like Dark Souls. It's great fun to play," SAID NO ONE EVER!!!! And contrasting that fun Indie title from before (the Magic Token game, which we know almost nothing about) with one of the most gnarly (as far as creatures go) games around is pretty bad. Moreover, the tech used to run Dark Souls is old as dirt. Have they done anything to upgrade it? Not by the looks of it, no.
1:27 - Ryse: Son of Rome
First of all, I feel like this Ryse guy was named just for the trailer. "The gods knew that a hero would rise." ...or, erm, ryse. Yeah. Fail.
Megan and I actually watched this one together, since she's into the whole Ancient Greek and Roman thing. I guess I am too to some extent. Cheezy, she called it. Way overdone. "They didn't fight like that," she said in paraphrase. "You don't just go in yelling, 'Whoo! Destroy the tower!' and fight some guys and then 'Destroy the tower!' and in come the catapults and the tower goes down and you storm the city."
Of my own opinion, I have problems with the gameplay. In open combat games, like that, I need to be able to play the game how I want to play, not PRESS THE BUTTONS THAT THEY TELL ME TOO, OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
"I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the-- NO NO NO!!!"
1:54 - Killer Instinct
This used to be a good game. A lot of people liked it. But the company who produced it, Rare, is stepping down in lieu of Double Helix, a rather awful game developing company. Biscuit stresses this in the video. Other than that, who doesn't like a planar brawler.
The presentation of this game was face palm worthy, too. Scripted to absolute death. One community representative and one developer come to the stage and play, and the dev destroys the rep. Owns her. And then he goes on about how, "Oh, I can publish this awesome replay to my friends!" – scripted. Then they play again, and just as they start, the rep says, "Here's how I like to share with my friends!" and enables Twitch. Twitch is a live streaming website where people can watch you play stuff live. Scripted. Even the Twitch chat was obviously fake. I hate stuff like that.
2:04 - Sunset Overdrive
We don't know much about this game yet, but in full honesty, it doesn't actually look bad. It's bright, it's fun, it's got huge potential – very much a Team Fortress 2-like. No gameplay, but I'm following this one.
2:19 - "We brought a car."
Yeah, I didn't get this either. It was reallyy stupid.
2:25 - Don't even remember the name of this racing game.
So the core mechanic of this game that makes it special is that the computer watches you as you drive. It learns how you drive and applies it to the computer-driven cars to make them lifelike. Is that creepy? Maybe.
The computer can also go out onto the internet if you let it while you're away and race other people around the world to see how they drive and apply the knowledge to your game. Is that creepy? I guess.
And the lines between single and multiplayer become blurred since the whole thing is shared online. If you're playing a race, who knows? Maybe when you pressed single player and started a level, it added the old race of someone from Sweden to the game to race against you. Creepy.
2:56 - "Here's a bald British guy."
hahahahahahahahaha well said, Total.
3:04 - Minecraft XBox One Edition
"Oh look," Microsoft said. "A new console. Let's put Minecraft on it! Because Minecraft equals free money!" Pretty much sums up the thing. And the console versions will ALWAYS be inferior to the PC version. Just... get over it.
3:12 - Quantum Break
What... IS THIS? It looks... cool-ish. Inception-esque. But we saw a three minute cinematic, not a game. How do you play it? How does it work? What do you do? Remember developers, we want to see gameplay. GAMEPLAY! Is that ever so hard?!
3:18 - Project Spark
Alright... this guy was creepy. Talking about giving the gift of game development to the people as if it were some campaign promise or... an infant or something.
Now the game itself. It looks absolutely amazing. Take a blank playing field. Give it structure (add mountains, rivers, villages), set the time of day (to the hour, which changes the shadows), give it weather and environment (sunny? snowy? desert? woodlands?). Then build characters, give them brains, construct upgrades, choose a bad guy, and then play the game you just built. And everyone can build their own games and play other peoples' games. Imagine all the awesome map makers from Minecraft doing this crazy stuff with AI, except that you don't have to be awesome to do it. You just have to have $500.
Seriously though, of all the games at the XBox con, this one looks the most promising. We are definitely keeping eyes on for this game.
3:39 - The Tablet
Remember how I said earlier how they didn't stress TV or the Kinect at all at this conference. Well, they did stress this tablet thing, which has been around for the XBox 360 in obsolete corners collecting dust for a long time now. And suddenly multiple games devs are using this tablet to play their games, Project Spark included. And the question is why? That's like Bill Gates coming out and saying, "Dudes, you gotta use this old computer! No one uses it or talks about it, but it works and it'll help you." Why?!
3:54 - Killer Instinct Again
Oh yeah, I forgot. They bring KI back again. And this is where they do the cheesy demonstration thing.
And I thought the exact same thing when I heard it live. The emcee guys says, "Just let it happen, it'll be over soon." Like, what? Like that's something you say in morbid, inappropriate situations. Like when you're about to beat your child or something. Need I say more?
4:07 - Microsoft Points >> $$$
For some odd reason, XBox has long used its currency in Microsoft points. You pay real money and get Microsoft points. They're like tokens at an arcade. The problem? You buy them in round numbers.
"This game upgrade costs 18 MP! Well, I have 16. Let's go to the store and buy two more, right?" No, you buy 20, or 50, or 100 points at a time. I don't want 20 points, I want 2.
So they're finally switching to just using real money. Good (for once).
4:20 - Crimson Dragon
When this game showed live, it had no sound.
You do not.
Do not.
Ever.
Bring a product that someone else is probably paying you to advertise.
And show the entire world of 1.7 million people watching.
This product.
And not.
Include.
The sound.
Ever.
This was a *shake my head* moment and laugh as I imagine Microsoft trying to straighten things out with the producers of this game.
And the thing is, the game production company (whose name escapes me) is actually a good company! Maybe we'd know more about if this game is gonna be as good as we could expect. If we had the sound.
No, Microsoft. Bad. Bad.
4:30 - Dead Rising 3
The first Dead Rising game was dark and gloomy, but had a fun character who had some great one-liners and could combine weapons to make amazing stuff.
The second Dead Rising game was dark and gloomy, but had the same humor. You could ride around on a wheelchair with miniguns hanging off of each side. Functional miniguns.
This Dead Rising looks like poop. Dark and gloomy, but with no humor and no ingenuity. You know what we call that? Zombie clique. Something no one gives two neurons about. Poop.
Would I play it? No.
Also, I love Total's interpretation. "For those of you with three arms..." Seriously, the zombies get to be great in number on screen, so the guy demonstrating it pulls out his phone and calls an airstrike on the zombies. Pretty cool, right? Just do it from your phone! It's realistic.
Um, I have two hands on my controller. And I'm certainly not holding my phone in my mouth to do this. Do I look like a dog? How do you expect me to do this? Look away from the screen where all the stuff that can kill me are? No, can't do that either.
Thanks for nothing.
So yeah. I'm currently watching through the EA conference, but I'm not even sure if I'll finish it.
I might write one more of these about the new Pokemon games (because what the heck) and the new Super Smash Bros game (because what the heck) and the new Elder Scrolls game (because WHAT THE HECK), but that's for later.
Thanks for reading if you did. If you wanna see a more honest, good review of what happened, here's TotalBiscuit's real review of the game, which came out hours after the joke one did.
Six: Destin Florida, June 1-7, 2013
I've learned in the past that it's a bad idea to describe every single thing that happened in chronological order in full Technicolor detail... it's just not interesting reading. So instead, here are the highlights of the family vacation I took to Destin, Florida.
In anagram style.
A is for alligators, namely the albino one that we saw at this one place. Only a few of them exist and only in special controlled habitats, apparently.
B is for Brusters, because we ended up getting ice cream there... twice? They had a Sea Salt Caramel Toffee flavor down there... not bad, actually.
C is for Catherine, because she played kind of a big part in the trip for me personally. That's enough about that, though.
D is for Deweys, a sea food place right on the coast that we visited twice. In an effort to avoid fried foods (burned oil and other such things which I might rant on later), I had the grilled shrimp and the grilled scallops. My final judgment is that the scallops are a better single bite, but the shrimp make a better meal. I hugely recommend both, however.
E is for eating, because a lot of our trip revolved around it. :D
F is for flags, namely the red ones which signal potentially dangerous waves. We had a bunch of red flags when we went out there (even if the waves were less than that), and on one day, double red flags. Double reds indicate, "Don't swim!" due to waves or currents or storms or whatever. For us, it was the tropical storm rolling across Florida when we were out there. It didn't affect us, but it did the waves.
G is for grace, because I needed a lot of it on this trip.
H is for hot and humid. What else do you expect from Florida? Not that it's a bad thing – I almost enjoyed it. Compared it to the Dominican Republic more than once, I think.
I is for I don't know what goes here.
J is for Josiah. Because he did a lot of weird things on this trip. Among the highlights were sleepwalking and putting on an extra underwear over his clothes; digging a hole in the sand five foot in diameter and four feet deep; and making those jokes that only Josiah can. I don't honestly remember any of them now though.. sorry.
K is for kart racing. Kaitlin raced on the "big kids'" track this time and did pretty good. Some people take these casual kart drives too seriously though... *cough cough* Megan and Dad *cough*. An example? Some kid two karts in front of me is riding a turn a bit on the outside, and the kart between me and him tries to wedge inside. Just as that's happening, the kart two ahead realizes he's not as inside as he could be and cuts in. They ram into each other and spin out. And there I am at 20 miles an hour right behind them. The impact knocked the sunglasses off my face. The tracks were nice – I won't go into full detail cause that would be boring – and the people were for the most part too. :D
L is for laziness. Both on the trip and my ability to think of anything else to talk about.
M is for mini golf, something we seem to do regularly when we go to the Track (see T). For the last... oh, I don't know, four or five times we've gone mini golfing as a family, Megan has been able to ace the final hole. Now Kaitlin is Megan's age and apparently has stolen her skill. Whereas Megan struggled along with the rest of it, Kait holed-in-one. yay
N is for Nothing comes to mind for this letter.
O is for Oceans. The movie series, not the actual thing (although both are valid). As in Oceans 11, 12, and 13, two of which we watched while we were there. Not bad stuff, except for the glorifying stealing part.
P is for pink pants. Megan bought a beach towel of much pink-ness and decided to wash it with the rest of our clothes. Well, the color leaked. A lot. She owes me a new pair of pants.
Q is for quiet. There was some good of it on this trip, which I'm glad for.
R is for Red Brick Cafe. Gluten free, dairy free pizza. Mmmm. We visited twice. I tried the garlic chicken pizza (because it sounded good) and the bacon cheeseburger pizza (because I'm a MAN. no... really because I was just curious and not really hungry that day anyway). Megan got the same pizza both times. I don't know exactly what it was, but it tasted like french onion soup on a pizza. Pretty good and I highly recommend it.
S is for sand, because B for beach was already taken. Nuff said, though, right?
T is for the Track. A place of kart racing, "bumper boats", mini golf, and other such amusement things. A regular stop for our family, and this trip was no exception. Consider looking at K and M for more details.
U is for umbrella, like the one that we used to block the Sun. One day, the wind picked up under the umbrella and blew it across the beach a solid 300 feet (100 metres) before I grabbed a hold of it and brought it back.
V is for video games, because as one of my friends noted, they weren't absent from this trip. OH WELL, what you gonna do about it? xD Only kidding.
W is for wind, because there was a LOT of it. There I am trying to take a nap under the umbrella with the loose tag, and the tag keeps flapping against the umbrella, making an un-patterned but un-ignorable sound. Keeping me up, that thing did, and I blame it on the wind.
X is for the text face you make when you're upset or something: >.<. I think I used that a lot while I was online, but I'm not exactly even sure.
Y is for WHY did I choose to do this style of blog if I'm going to have five of them I don't know how to fill?
Z is for zzz, as in sleep, because I maintained a better sleep pattern while I was out there than I do here at home.
And there you go. Hopefully, that was entertaining enough for you guys. Next blog already in the works.
Grace and peace!
In anagram style.
A is for alligators, namely the albino one that we saw at this one place. Only a few of them exist and only in special controlled habitats, apparently.
B is for Brusters, because we ended up getting ice cream there... twice? They had a Sea Salt Caramel Toffee flavor down there... not bad, actually.
C is for Catherine, because she played kind of a big part in the trip for me personally. That's enough about that, though.
D is for Deweys, a sea food place right on the coast that we visited twice. In an effort to avoid fried foods (burned oil and other such things which I might rant on later), I had the grilled shrimp and the grilled scallops. My final judgment is that the scallops are a better single bite, but the shrimp make a better meal. I hugely recommend both, however.
E is for eating, because a lot of our trip revolved around it. :D
F is for flags, namely the red ones which signal potentially dangerous waves. We had a bunch of red flags when we went out there (even if the waves were less than that), and on one day, double red flags. Double reds indicate, "Don't swim!" due to waves or currents or storms or whatever. For us, it was the tropical storm rolling across Florida when we were out there. It didn't affect us, but it did the waves.
G is for grace, because I needed a lot of it on this trip.
H is for hot and humid. What else do you expect from Florida? Not that it's a bad thing – I almost enjoyed it. Compared it to the Dominican Republic more than once, I think.
I is for I don't know what goes here.
J is for Josiah. Because he did a lot of weird things on this trip. Among the highlights were sleepwalking and putting on an extra underwear over his clothes; digging a hole in the sand five foot in diameter and four feet deep; and making those jokes that only Josiah can. I don't honestly remember any of them now though.. sorry.
K is for kart racing. Kaitlin raced on the "big kids'" track this time and did pretty good. Some people take these casual kart drives too seriously though... *cough cough* Megan and Dad *cough*. An example? Some kid two karts in front of me is riding a turn a bit on the outside, and the kart between me and him tries to wedge inside. Just as that's happening, the kart two ahead realizes he's not as inside as he could be and cuts in. They ram into each other and spin out. And there I am at 20 miles an hour right behind them. The impact knocked the sunglasses off my face. The tracks were nice – I won't go into full detail cause that would be boring – and the people were for the most part too. :D
L is for laziness. Both on the trip and my ability to think of anything else to talk about.
M is for mini golf, something we seem to do regularly when we go to the Track (see T). For the last... oh, I don't know, four or five times we've gone mini golfing as a family, Megan has been able to ace the final hole. Now Kaitlin is Megan's age and apparently has stolen her skill. Whereas Megan struggled along with the rest of it, Kait holed-in-one. yay
N is for Nothing comes to mind for this letter.
O is for Oceans. The movie series, not the actual thing (although both are valid). As in Oceans 11, 12, and 13, two of which we watched while we were there. Not bad stuff, except for the glorifying stealing part.
P is for pink pants. Megan bought a beach towel of much pink-ness and decided to wash it with the rest of our clothes. Well, the color leaked. A lot. She owes me a new pair of pants.
Q is for quiet. There was some good of it on this trip, which I'm glad for.
R is for Red Brick Cafe. Gluten free, dairy free pizza. Mmmm. We visited twice. I tried the garlic chicken pizza (because it sounded good) and the bacon cheeseburger pizza (because I'm a MAN. no... really because I was just curious and not really hungry that day anyway). Megan got the same pizza both times. I don't know exactly what it was, but it tasted like french onion soup on a pizza. Pretty good and I highly recommend it.
S is for sand, because B for beach was already taken. Nuff said, though, right?
T is for the Track. A place of kart racing, "bumper boats", mini golf, and other such amusement things. A regular stop for our family, and this trip was no exception. Consider looking at K and M for more details.
U is for umbrella, like the one that we used to block the Sun. One day, the wind picked up under the umbrella and blew it across the beach a solid 300 feet (100 metres) before I grabbed a hold of it and brought it back.
V is for video games, because as one of my friends noted, they weren't absent from this trip. OH WELL, what you gonna do about it? xD Only kidding.
W is for wind, because there was a LOT of it. There I am trying to take a nap under the umbrella with the loose tag, and the tag keeps flapping against the umbrella, making an un-patterned but un-ignorable sound. Keeping me up, that thing did, and I blame it on the wind.
X is for the text face you make when you're upset or something: >.<. I think I used that a lot while I was online, but I'm not exactly even sure.
Y is for WHY did I choose to do this style of blog if I'm going to have five of them I don't know how to fill?
Z is for zzz, as in sleep, because I maintained a better sleep pattern while I was out there than I do here at home.
And there you go. Hopefully, that was entertaining enough for you guys. Next blog already in the works.
Grace and peace!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Four: Selection of "Ars" 1
"Ars" is Latin for art. Deal with it.
I've got a few fun summer projects I'll write about as I have time. One of them is an art sketch of the friends I've made in my church youth group.
Currently, I'm just working on trace sketches – trace the outline and then fill in the details by eye. Gonna probably do one or two more – I've gathered stock photos from the wonderful intrusive world of the internet – and then get to work.
Here's the first trace sketch I made, in case you didn't see it. xD
http://latisansklay.deviantart.com/art/Siempre-Ad-Meliorum-Practice-1-373411836
And the stock photos I used to trace:
(bottom of the page) http://mysteriesleftundone.blogspot.com/2013/05/three-first-world-problems.html
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3728090276677&set=t.100001850952409&type=1&theater
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-aaMvDUL9XSo/UONUeRXxi8I/AAAAAAAAAA8/WaF7IfdzLaI/s720-no/Picture+007.jpg
:P
I was also working on another picture for a friend today. Got about 30 minutes into it and then tried to save a work in progress (WIP) shot of it for posterity's sake. You know, "Save As..." and save as a new image. When I returned to the original, all of my changes were gone. I don't even know why – I had been saving the thing since the beginning. In fact, I'm a bit hyperactive in my "ctr + s" save hotkey.
This is what it was when I started. http://imgur.com/QWXEPXq
Thirty minutes in, I had almost completely redrawn the center character, primarily because it is inaccurate to the original person being depicted. And I lost it all.
It was a good Wolver Coat I had drawn, too... we'll see if I can do it again. Later. >.<
And lastly, one more WIP. http://imgur.com/Ic6Vv6i
I kind of drew this out of boredom when I was starting off. The idea of sky islands is immensely intriguing to me, and I'll have to talk to my sister about getting them into our fiction some how at some point.
But yeah... I have no idea where that's going right now, but we'll see. Maybe it'll just be an illustration for our fiction.
That's about it for now. More on my junior year and summer projects and all these kinds of things, coming as soon as I have time. xD
I've got a few fun summer projects I'll write about as I have time. One of them is an art sketch of the friends I've made in my church youth group.
Currently, I'm just working on trace sketches – trace the outline and then fill in the details by eye. Gonna probably do one or two more – I've gathered stock photos from the wonderful intrusive world of the internet – and then get to work.
Here's the first trace sketch I made, in case you didn't see it. xD
http://latisansklay.deviantart.com/art/Siempre-Ad-Meliorum-Practice-1-373411836
And the stock photos I used to trace:
(bottom of the page) http://mysteriesleftundone.blogspot.com/2013/05/three-first-world-problems.html
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3728090276677&set=t.100001850952409&type=1&theater
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-aaMvDUL9XSo/UONUeRXxi8I/AAAAAAAAAA8/WaF7IfdzLaI/s720-no/Picture+007.jpg
:P
I was also working on another picture for a friend today. Got about 30 minutes into it and then tried to save a work in progress (WIP) shot of it for posterity's sake. You know, "Save As..." and save as a new image. When I returned to the original, all of my changes were gone. I don't even know why – I had been saving the thing since the beginning. In fact, I'm a bit hyperactive in my "ctr + s" save hotkey.
This is what it was when I started. http://imgur.com/QWXEPXq
Thirty minutes in, I had almost completely redrawn the center character, primarily because it is inaccurate to the original person being depicted. And I lost it all.
It was a good Wolver Coat I had drawn, too... we'll see if I can do it again. Later. >.<
And lastly, one more WIP. http://imgur.com/Ic6Vv6i
I kind of drew this out of boredom when I was starting off. The idea of sky islands is immensely intriguing to me, and I'll have to talk to my sister about getting them into our fiction some how at some point.
But yeah... I have no idea where that's going right now, but we'll see. Maybe it'll just be an illustration for our fiction.
That's about it for now. More on my junior year and summer projects and all these kinds of things, coming as soon as I have time. xD
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Three: First World Problems
By definition, a running "joke" in which people complain about lacking something in their cushy, spoiled lives.
For example,
"I want to change the TV station, but the remote is way over there!!" :c
"I have too many chips for my dip, but if I open another dip, I'll have too much dip for my chips." :c
"I can't see what we have in the refrigerator because all the food is blocking the light." :c
I'd like to go on record and say that my younger brother might be the most dedicated First World Problems generator, and he doesn't even know it.
"If I don't have my bed covers, I'll freeze to death!" :c
"Why do we have to drive so far to get to the beach?" :c
Then again, I'm kind of the same way I suppose. I guess we all are in some ways.
"Wait, you're telling me I have to go all the way downstairs to bring that pencil back up here?" :c
"Why do I have to waste 10 minutes sitting in the car to get from here to school?" :c
"I'm bored." :c
Philippians 2:14-15: "Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world."
Lessons learned.
Also, speaking of a specific "first world problem", I have this thing about getting dressed up. Looks like I'll be in a suit and tie twice in the next week. What a pain.
And yet.
And yet, there is something extremely pleasurable about walking around all dressed up. I guess my problem isn't with the getup itself, but with the thought of it before hand and the act of putting everything on. Once you've gotten your tie and your hair right and all those final bits, it's all good.
Very good in fact.
My experience will probably be tainted by the fact that I'm making professional-grade presentations on both occasions (Wednesday and Saturday), but we'll see how that goes.
Public speaking. Phft. That's something I'll write about. Eventually.
For example,
"I want to change the TV station, but the remote is way over there!!" :c
"I have too many chips for my dip, but if I open another dip, I'll have too much dip for my chips." :c
"I can't see what we have in the refrigerator because all the food is blocking the light." :c
I'd like to go on record and say that my younger brother might be the most dedicated First World Problems generator, and he doesn't even know it.
"If I don't have my bed covers, I'll freeze to death!" :c
"Why do we have to drive so far to get to the beach?" :c
Then again, I'm kind of the same way I suppose. I guess we all are in some ways.
"Wait, you're telling me I have to go all the way downstairs to bring that pencil back up here?" :c
"Why do I have to waste 10 minutes sitting in the car to get from here to school?" :c
"I'm bored." :c
Philippians 2:14-15: "Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world."
Lessons learned.
Also, speaking of a specific "first world problem", I have this thing about getting dressed up. Looks like I'll be in a suit and tie twice in the next week. What a pain.
And yet.
And yet, there is something extremely pleasurable about walking around all dressed up. I guess my problem isn't with the getup itself, but with the thought of it before hand and the act of putting everything on. Once you've gotten your tie and your hair right and all those final bits, it's all good.
Very good in fact.
My experience will probably be tainted by the fact that I'm making professional-grade presentations on both occasions (Wednesday and Saturday), but we'll see how that goes.
Public speaking. Phft. That's something I'll write about. Eventually.
Two: Quote Dump 1
A: "You could answer almost anything with 'not since the accident.'"
B: "Actually you can't."
A: "Not since the accident."
I see London, I see France. Wow. They're both 486 miles away from each other. That's a long way. I have great eyesight.
When the cannibal showed up late to dinner, they gave him the cold shoulder.
I'm not like other girls. Mostly because I'm a guy.
Aristotle: "What does it mean to be a good person?"
Descartes: "What does it mean to be?"
Nietzche: "What does it mean?"
Bertrand Russell: "What does 'it' mean?"
C. S. Lewis: "What does it?"
Near deaf person: "What?"
Justin Timberlake should put out a cereal.
Justin Timberflakes.
Justin Timberlake opens up a bakery.
Justin Timberbake.
Hey look, it's Justin Timberlake at the barbecue! He's making
Justin Timbersteaks.
Justin Timberlake lipsyncs.
Justin Timberfake.
On Justin Timberlake's birthday, he gets a
Justin Timbercake.
If you write "-2 -2 x ="with your finger on a table, you will make the sound similar to the "Chim Chimney" song from Mary Poppins.
Questionably Racist: Asians are some of the safest people in the world.
Casual Skeptic: There are Asian gangs too and stuff.
Questionably Racist: And they're called study groups.
Casual Skeptic: omg
That awkward moment when everyone else understands it but you.
But you still act like you did.
Because you'll just Google it later.
My friend made an interesting point about the game Skyrim. The only beverages are alcoholic. Maybe there is no magic, or dragons, or anything. Maybe everyone is just drunk off their butt.
A: OMG SO APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED. I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS, BUT I GUESS NOT.
B: And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme came crumbling down.
C: ...THAT EXPLAINS WHY MEN GO DOWN ON ONE KNEE WHEN THEY PROPOSE.
A: OMG
I think I'll procrastinate tomorrow.
B: "Actually you can't."
A: "Not since the accident."
I see London, I see France. Wow. They're both 486 miles away from each other. That's a long way. I have great eyesight.
When the cannibal showed up late to dinner, they gave him the cold shoulder.
I'm not like other girls. Mostly because I'm a guy.
Aristotle: "What does it mean to be a good person?"
Descartes: "What does it mean to be?"
Nietzche: "What does it mean?"
Bertrand Russell: "What does 'it' mean?"
C. S. Lewis: "What does it?"
Near deaf person: "What?"
Justin Timberlake should put out a cereal.
Justin Timberflakes.
Justin Timberlake opens up a bakery.
Justin Timberbake.
Hey look, it's Justin Timberlake at the barbecue! He's making
Justin Timbersteaks.
Justin Timberlake lipsyncs.
Justin Timberfake.
On Justin Timberlake's birthday, he gets a
Justin Timbercake.
If you write "-2 -2 x ="with your finger on a table, you will make the sound similar to the "Chim Chimney" song from Mary Poppins.
Questionably Racist: Asians are some of the safest people in the world.
Casual Skeptic: There are Asian gangs too and stuff.
Questionably Racist: And they're called study groups.
Casual Skeptic: omg
That awkward moment when everyone else understands it but you.
But you still act like you did.
Because you'll just Google it later.
My friend made an interesting point about the game Skyrim. The only beverages are alcoholic. Maybe there is no magic, or dragons, or anything. Maybe everyone is just drunk off their butt.
A: OMG SO APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED. I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS, BUT I GUESS NOT.
B: And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme came crumbling down.
C: ...THAT EXPLAINS WHY MEN GO DOWN ON ONE KNEE WHEN THEY PROPOSE.
A: OMG
I think I'll procrastinate tomorrow.
Monday, May 20, 2013
One: The Way it Is
Casual conversation in text. How hard could it possibly be?
From someone who's been blogging since they were 7 via a white eMac which weighed as much as I did, harder than you might think.
Introductions come in the form of why I'm here and what you can expect and not expect.
From someone who's been blogging since they were 7 via a white eMac which weighed as much as I did, harder than you might think.
Introductions come in the form of why I'm here and what you can expect and not expect.
Why I'm Here
Simply, trends. When your sister, an aspiring writer, picks up a blog, you don't give it much thought. When your best friend picks up a blog, then you know you're lagging behind.
And yet, you also have a Facebook, a podcast, and a personal journal. Between the quotes and public and private thoughts, what could possibly be left to write about in the backstreets of Google's blogspot? The answer: I don't really know.
I suppose I'm more comfortable here than in any other place, since I've been doing it the longest. Perhaps this is a forth category – not the occasional quip or picture, nor the public face of energy, nor the personal secrets. Rather, this is a public journal – the theme of so many other blogs – where I can put things I'd like to remember and yet don't mind sharing.
Granted, I talk about myself a good bit anyways, often to my shame. Of all the things someone could talk about, it's always best when it's me. At least, that's what my mind likes to tell me.
Which begs the question, what then will I be writing about, besides me?
What to Expect
Ok, so I'll be writing about me. Thus the "public journal". That's just the way it is.
Outside of that though, I imagine I'll probably include:
- Updates on the story my sister and I are writing.
- Sketches (via DeviantArt) and any art I do.
- Music (via Bandcamp <--coming soon!).
- Quips from conversations I overhear or take part in.
And what's not here (at least I hope) is long exposition on everything that comes to mind.
As much as I'd like to think I'm not very cliche, I kind of am... :<
That fluffy, deep-throated tone of talk that's so easy to drop into when writing... I'd love to avoid it but don't think I can. We'll see.
Besides, who can I expect to follow around my every move anyways? No, this is more of a minorly cathartic outlet for public thoughts. Nothing more.
I don't expect anyone to pay too much attention. Don't feel bad. It's just the way it is.
~Josh K.
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