Two: Quote Dump 1

A: "You could answer almost anything with 'not since the accident.'"
B: "Actually you can't."
A: "Not since the accident."

I see London, I see France. Wow. They're both 486 miles away from each other. That's a long way. I have great eyesight.

When the cannibal showed up late to dinner, they gave him the cold shoulder.

I'm not like other girls. Mostly because I'm a guy.

Aristotle: "What does it mean to be a good person?"
Descartes: "What does it mean to be?"
Nietzche: "What does it mean?"
Bertrand Russell: "What does 'it' mean?"
C. S. Lewis: "What does it?"
Near deaf person: "What?"

Justin Timberlake should put out a cereal.
Justin Timberflakes.

Justin Timberlake opens up a bakery.
Justin Timberbake.

Hey look, it's Justin Timberlake at the barbecue! He's making
Justin Timbersteaks.

Justin Timberlake lipsyncs.
Justin Timberfake.

On Justin Timberlake's birthday, he gets a
Justin Timbercake.

If you write "-2 -2 x ="with your finger on a table, you will make the sound similar to the "Chim Chimney" song from Mary Poppins.

Questionably Racist: Asians are some of the safest people in the world.
Casual Skeptic: There are Asian gangs too and stuff.
Questionably Racist: And they're called study groups.
Casual Skeptic: omg

That awkward moment when everyone else understands it but you.
But you still act like you did.
Because you'll just Google it later.

My friend made an interesting point about the game Skyrim. The only beverages are alcoholic. Maybe there is no magic, or dragons, or anything. Maybe everyone is just drunk off their butt.

A: OMG SO APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED. I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS, BUT I GUESS NOT.
B: And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme came crumbling down.
C: ...THAT EXPLAINS WHY MEN GO DOWN ON ONE KNEE WHEN THEY PROPOSE.
A: OMG

I think I'll procrastinate tomorrow.